I went to a wedding of one of my girlfriend’s oldest friends this past weekend. The minister gave some advice to the couple and those assembled on how to sustain a romantic relationship borrowing from the perspective of Fred Nietzsche. The advice sounded remarkably like the things I say and do with my sex life coaching:
What he said, paraphrased, was that Nietzsche, the “power-washer of human thought”, stated that a human cannot guarantee the presence of emotions like love because they are felt spontaneously, or not felt, from one moment to the next. Actions, however, can be guaranteed. The example he gave of an action was a story of a long-time husband who told his wife every day how beautiful she looked.
The idea goes to the heart of what the phrase, “making love” means. Most often in life, as we all know, you cannot make anything without taking action. This resonates with how I see the benefits in a marriage of great sex that gets greater. However, it can only be great if you first take action and then follow-up with attention to detail as you move forward.
Fast-forward to the wedding reception and dinner. I was sitting with childhood friends of my girlfriend and their beloveds. Some talked to me about my feature article in GQ Magazine and another asked to describe what I do for people. I said,
“Do you remember what the minister said about action? I’m all about working with people and that action.”
I didn’t say it at the time, but I remember it hitting me a few moments later that said guarantees are much easier to make when the action taken brings a big payoff of happiness or steps you closer to those very important parts of a romantic relationship that keeps it romantic.
